A Confession

I have something to say. I’m a little afraid to say it, but in the spirit of Rachel’s post, I’m just gonna put it out there.

I don’t think the quilting blog world is that negative.

There, I said it. You can all gasp in horror.

I don’t get it, you guys. With only a few teeny exceptions, I have always found the quilting blog world to be very inclusive and positive and supportive. It is certainly vastly more positive than any other online community I’ve ever experienced. I have never seen anything resembling a clique or an “in-crowd.”

No, I don’t always receive replies to comments I leave on other blogs. But I assume that’s because the blogger is busy, not because she didn’t appreciate my comment. And yes, I have been rejected for a swap in the past. But I assumed that was due to practical limits on participation, not a personal rejection of my work.

The vast majority of negative posts and comments I’ve seen around blogland recently have been about the negativity. So you know how we can stop it? By stopping.

And that’s all I have to say about it. Please know that I appreciate every single one of you, regardless of what you quilt, how you quilt it, where, or why.

40 replies
  1. kelly
    kelly says:

    i think it's common to confuse opinions with negativity. and, i agree with you- i may not love what some people are quilting, but it's awesome that they're doing it!

  2. Michelle
    Michelle says:

    love your post; i'm here looking at everyone's beautiful goodies (and sure, sometimes the not so beautiful goodies). Maybe i'm missing it cause I hardly ever read the comments? Is that normal? 🙂

  3. diane
    diane says:

    I don't know where this circle of posts started but I have never received any negativity. Now granted I only have about 40 followers, but I love blogland and wouldn't think of saying anything negative on someone's blog. People who do are just jealous or mean. There, I had my say so too!

  4. Susanne
    Susanne says:

    BIG Hug Lee!!! I think you Kelly and exactly right.

    I think some of us are taking other people's opinions a little too close to heart.

    Life's too short : ) Read it. If you don't love it. Forgettaboutit!! <–(in the voice of an italian gangsta)

  5. Georgia
    Georgia says:

    Yikes. I just read that Stitched in Color post. Totally shocked by some of the comments!
    Personally, I don't see the quilting blog world as being negative either. Mostly I see it as inspiring, even if my taste might differ to somebody elses.

  6. Marg
    Marg says:

    I have never received any negative comments about my quilts or crochet either. Real life acquaintances now that's another matter entirely.
    I joined the blogging community so that I could find inspiration and information. Both of those are in abundance, there are so many fabulous blogs out there.
    I have learnt so much since starting blogging and made some wonderful friends too.
    I don't always totally love what I see, but I think it's fabulous that so many people are being creative and having fun with what they are doing.

  7. Georgia
    Georgia says:

    Oops, might just clarify a little – I didn't find the original post overly negative – had no problem with it at all, but some of the comments seemed unnecessarily mean and nasty. All a bit sad really.

  8. Kate @SwimBikeQuilt
    Kate @SwimBikeQuilt says:

    Hear, hear. I don't get all of the talk either. There are a handful of quilt bloggers that drive me nuts, so I don't read their blogs. I admire their quilts on flickr and move on. I tend to think that it is silly to be intimidated by other quilters–the only way to get better is to put in all of the time sewing that they have already put in, you know? I will never so as straight as Rita of Red Pepper Quilts, I'm not patient enough. But I admire the heck out of her ability to do so!

  9. ~Carla~
    ~Carla~ says:

    Gotta agree, I've received 2 nasty comments in my blogging "life", one of them literally made my jaw drop, but that's the exception, not the rule. 😉

  10. two hippos
    two hippos says:

    Yes, thank you! I'm confounded as to where this commentary about "negativity" is coming from. I think kelly is correct that many seem to think "opinion = negative" whereas I think "opinion = something to think about." There's nothing negative about expressing preferences, and I've rarely if ever come across someone who stated something critical in a mean-spirited rather than constructive way. I also don't understand being intimidated by what someone else does well — it gives me something to aspire to, even if my version is imperfect.

  11. Lee Heinrich
    Lee Heinrich says:

    Finally someone says something sane in all this craziness. I was so bothered and even shocked by how mean people were in some of the comments on that post. I think you are completely right. The negative comments just fuel any negativity that is out there. I have found fabulous, positive people in the online quilting community, almost without exception.

  12. Marlene @ KISSed Quilts . com
    Marlene @ KISSed Quilts . com says:

    Knock on wood…haven't seen any of the negativity that you're speaking of.

    After taking the process pledge (inspired by your blog link Lee), I've found myself documenting more of what I do and hoping it inspires someone else in the process.

    I am quilting because I hope to share inspiration with others and create a legacy of treasures for those who receive them.

    A small group that I started this year is going through the book 'Fearless Design' and have learned (hopefully) to critique without being critical. Find what speaks to you and affirm that in what the quilter has done. It is art and that is always in the 'eye of the beholder' 😉

  13. Linz
    Linz says:

    Wow. I have never considered the quilting world to be negative in any degree! This is the first experience I have ever had getting any responses to blog comments. I have never been treated unkindly. Just the opposite. Everyone I have dealt with has been just delightful. Thank you for posting this. I totally agree with you!

  14. Jennifer
    Jennifer says:

    I feel exactly this way. I think a lot of people interpret things as negativity because of a number of things… for example, I can sometimes view a post as discouraging because of my feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. People interpret what's going on around them based on their own feelings and experiences. If a woman is used to being put down, perhaps by a significant other or parent, then she might interpret regular critiques as harsh criticisms. Like Kelly said, it's easy to confuse opinions with negativity, especially since so much of the tone is left to the imagination on the internet.

    In high school, there were girls who felt like they weren't part of the in-crowd and that really bothered them, and there were girls who weren't part of the in-crowd and didn't really care. It depends on how that girl is feeling about herself. It's not that it's wrong or bad to want to be one of the cool kids, or feel excluded or put down. Feelings aren't wrong. It's just the only part of the situation that we can control– how we feel about it. It might take a lot of work to accept ourselves and feel good about our abilities and decisions, but it's going to be the only way people are going to feel better about other peoples' successes and opinions.

    Sorry, this comment is so long but I can't seem to edit it down any farther! I am too wordy 😉

  15. Quiltjane
    Quiltjane says:

    Interesting. I have always seen positive, supportive comments on everyones blogs. People who make quilts are generous, kind and loving people because making a quilt is a gift of love.

  16. Sel's Quilting Blog
    Sel's Quilting Blog says:

    I agree! Generally, the quilting blogosphere isn't very negative. (At least, not that I've seen.) However I have seen distinct 'sniffs' directed at some quilters who don't do things the way other quilters think they should.

    All in all, though, there are plenty of lovely quilters around the traps and it's a pleasure and a delight to read them!

  17. Bug
    Bug says:

    "The vast majority of negative posts and comments I've seen around blogland recently have been about the negativity. So you know how we can stop it? By stopping."

    THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! I wish I could post that paragraph all over blogland!

  18. Elizabeth D.
    Elizabeth D. says:

    You know I'm with you 110%, and you're absolutely right – let's just stop the madness! I have "met" some of the nicest people here in quilty blogland, and I think it is a very welcoming community, personally, and I certainly hope that we can stop this negativity once and for all because it sure isn't helping us make pretty things or showing others how wonderful quilting is.

  19. Mary
    Mary says:

    amen, lady.

    I'm with the previous commenter who mentioned it's more about you than anyone else. If you yourself are positive, and you see the bright side of situations, you should be just fine 🙂

  20. Toni
    Toni says:

    Totally agree!! 🙂 I blog for me and I'm a positive person. I don't blog for anyone else! Bonus I have friends and regular readers, but I always remember why I blog and tend to avoid/ignore others who blog for attention.

  21. Jackie
    Jackie says:

    I find the blogging community as a whole to be very positive and supportive generally speaking. I have been concerned that there has been a series of posts saying a particular bloggers opinions were wrong. I can see how the post sparked feelings though some of the responses were far less than kind. I was most concerned about a rejection to join a charity bee because when reviewing the requesters blog it was felt her style was not what they were looking for. I have to say, as someone who has a strong interest in modern quilting but has not yet ventured into that too far, I'm not sure I'd ever seek to join a bee, block exchange etc. It was a huge turn off. It's not going to stop me from venturing in the direction I want to go though.

    When I started blogging, I had absolutely no expectations. Just thought I'd share a picture or two and get comments from my friends IRL. I have been amazed and surprised by the open arms of the blogging community and the friendship has been amazing!

  22. Marjorie's Busy Corner
    Marjorie's Busy Corner says:

    right, Lee…this group of bloggers has been an inspiration to me…I love everyone of youl I don't always get a response either; but like you say; busy or not everyone is on as often as I am; maybe…it doesn't matter…i enjoy commenting on others work…and like kelly said is easy to mistake the meaning of things..so; no griping and enjoy each other….lol

  23. Lee Heinrich
    Lee Heinrich says:

    Yay! You're right–so much of the negativity is about negativity. I hope we can put an end to it soon. I think some people just seek out drama, don't you? There's enough depressing news in the world right now, and, as corny as it may sound, quilting and visiting blogs is my little happy place!

  24. Nancy D.
    Nancy D. says:

    Thanks for your post. Like others have shared, I think some people confuse opinions with negativity. There may be some folks out there that comment on things in not so nice a way, but everyone needs to remember, it's their freedom of speech – and their opinion.
    I'm truly amazed at the whole blogland and how there are so many blogs available to read and be inspired by. I've just started following blogs a little after the first of the year. Overall, I really enjoy seeing what people have to post – both quilt related as some of the personal stuff. I've never been out of the states (except to Cancun for our honeymoon) and enjoy reading about other places and people.
    Anyhow, we don't have the ability to change what people say, but we do have the ability to choose how we react.
    ~ I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
    – Robert McCloskey ~

    Thank you again for sharing!

  25. Tiffany
    Tiffany says:

    I agree. I feel that people in blog world are supportive and nice. I've only had people help me and haven't felt the negativity. Thanks for your post – it's good to know others can still stay upbeat. And don't worry, if you don't respond I know you're busy, not ignoring this comment. 😉 hehe

  26. Flo @ Butterfly Quilting
    Flo @ Butterfly Quilting says:

    I agree. Although I am new to both quilting and blogland, I have learned so much from other people!! Although I dont have many followers, they are incredibly helpful and supportive!
    And I just sew what makes me happy!

  27. Becky
    Becky says:

    I love the quilting blog world! As a mom of younger kids, it's perfect, since I can't exactly bring my hyper boys to guild meetings with me, ya know! It's like a virtual guild, which is awesome! You can take of leave it. As for blogging, i started more as a personal journal, so while I love comments, I'd blog no matter what…

  28. Kelli
    Kelli says:

    If this was on facebook, I would have immediately hit like. I think sometimes people feel intimidated, and when given the chance, maybe they took Rachel's post out of context and began a bash fest which is easy to do…mob mentality. I think if we all remember that we don't have to agree, but we do all have feelings, then the world and blogland will be better.

  29. Melinda
    Melinda says:

    I have only been blogging a short time but have been overwhelmed by all the positivity within the quilt-blogging world. I enjoy blogging and being a part of a community of people who are creative and like minded. I am just awed by the amount of talent out there, whether I am drawn to a person's color combination or choice of pattern or not. I think it's important to be able to appreciate another person's work and drive; it's like walking in someone's house and appreciating their decorating ability without it being your own style. And would you walk in someone else's home and say, "What WERE you thinking with this pattern on the windows?"
    I actually commented on that Stitched in Color post; my comments weren't that bad, but I felt so guilty for saying anything, I deleted my comment. I'm from GA. If you can't say something nice,…

  30. Jenniffier
    Jenniffier says:

    There is always the good and that bad. There always has been. Although, I am sometime jealous of those who have time to create or use their time well enough to fit in time to create, I would never say anything mean about them. I think that blogging quilters have great ideas and I think that most of them including you are very kind. Thanks for saying your mind and being kind 🙂

  31. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    I haven't seen any negativity in the quilt blog world. I don't have a blog. I enjoy reading quilt blogs because it's like being at quilt guild. So much awesome talent out there!



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